One Memory can invoke a lifetime of Pain

My heart hurts

2006-04-07T01:22:21Z

I m always crying for us and for you.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-05T10:39:00

2005-02-05T15:39:26Z

This live journal is dead

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-04T22:31:00

2005-02-05T03:33:04Z

I think my life is going to change..........and not for the better

<3

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-04T16:27:00

2005-02-04T21:29:15Z

Me Love You Long Time by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	Soulmates
Your meeting was by	Fate
They are your	Protector
You are their	Shining star
Your love will	Last for all eternity

Quiz created with MemeGen!

:)

you guys notice I bitch and moan every other day? damn........I need to stop........being cuddly to other people.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-03T16:32:00

2005-02-03T21:38:12Z

I am going insane. This isnt good. I get more and more paranoid......man I am so fucked up.

I feel like I should die everyday so I can be punished for living
If I had a knife, i would cut it, If I had a gun, I would shoot it, if I had a bridge, I would jump it

I am driving myself insane.....and I cant do anything. I get the most accusing thoughts about shit, and I hate it. I should die. I suck.I am worthless, I dont deserve someone like Tori. Tori doestn need to hear my bitchin and moanin every fucking day......... fucking hate this. If I had a chance to start mylife over, I would end it.

I need a fucking vacation

<3

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-02T17:57:00

2005-02-02T23:40:09Z

The circle of trust works...in a way....sigh. I should have realize that I am trying way to fucking hard a long time ago.....this is going to be a depressing next few weeks.

DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: guitar...i suck
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: like......3hrs a week, lol
Like to sing?:: yea
Have a job?:: work for my parents
Have a cell phone?:: Yes
Like to play sports?:: football...um...hacky sack?
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: Yeah
Have a crush on someone?:: no
Live somewhere NOT in the United States?:: no
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: 6
Have any special talents/skills?:: I suck at life
Excercise daily?:: 4 times a week
Like school?:: no.........I really dont
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: No
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: no
Speak any other languages?:: chinese
Go a day without food?:: Yes
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:: Yes
Read music, not just tabs?:: I used to, back in 7th-8th grade
Roll your tongue?:: Yes
Eat a whole pizza?::personal pizza
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: yeah
Cried to get out of trouble?:: no
Gotten lost in your city?:: No
Seen a shooting star?:: yes
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: China
Had a serious surgery?:: no
Stolen something important to someone else?:: no
Solved a rubiks cube?:: not that smart
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: Yes
Cried over a girl?:: more often than id like to admit, im an emo bitch
Cried over a boy?:: yes......sigh long story
Kissed a random stranger?:: no
Hugged a random stranger?:: yes
Been in a fist fight?:: No
Been arrested?:: No
Done drugs?:: yes
Had alcohol?:: yes, hate it though.
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: nope
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: no.....but now I want to
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: No
Swore at your parents?:: yes I hate them
Been to Warped Tour?:: nope, really want to
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: yes, and punched them there..
Been in love?:: IDK>..........I hate this question....
Been close to love?:: sigh.........IDK
Been to a casino?:: no
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: no
Broken a bone?:: No
Gotten stitches?:: no
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: That actually sounds fun
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: ew.....no
Made homemade muffins?:: no
Bitten someone?:: Yeah
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: I have no life
More than 5 times?:: No
Been to Niagra Falls?:: no, I want to
Burped in someones face?:: yes...
Gotten the chicken pox?:: yeah

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: morning
Went to the bathroom:: hour ago
Saw a movie in theaters:: A few weeks ago
Read a book:: yesteray, -The Testament by John Grisham
Had a snow day:: last mth
Had a party:: Never
Had a slumber party:: dude........I am a guy
Made fun of someone:: few hours ago in school
Tripped in front of someone:: on the stairs going up
Went to the grocery store:: a while ago
Got sick:: a while ago
Cursed:: in school

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: Fruit
Black/white:: Black
Lights on/lights off:: depends on whats happenng,
TV/movie:: Movie
Car/truck:: Car
Body spray/lotion:: lotion
Cash/check:: Cash
Pillows/blankets:: Blankets
Headache/stomach ache:: Stomach ache
Paint/charcoal:: Paint
Chinese food/mexican food:: Mexican........chinese food suck
Summer/winter:: Summer....
Snow/rain:: snow
Fog/misty:: Misty
Rock/rap:: Rock
Meat/vegetarian:: Meat
Boy/girl:: girl
Chocolate/vanilla:: Vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: icing
Cake/pie:: depends on what it is
French toast/french fries:: French toast
Strawberries/blueberries:: Strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: swimming pool.....Ill drown either way
Hugs/kisses:: Hugs
Cookies/muffins:: Cookies
Wallet/pocket:: wallet
Emo/goth:: Emo
Pink/purple:: Pink
Cat/dog:: cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: Long Sleeve
Pants/shorts:: Pants
Winter break/spring break:: Spring break
Spring/autumn:: spring
Clouds/clear sky:: Clear sky
Moon/mars:: Moon

FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: 14I think, I am guessin
What are their names?:: Amanda Stewart, Amanda Sumner, Madeline Green,Nikki Bush, Souyi Mai, Shi Mai, David Lee, Mez, Shawn Mullins, Igor R. Tori Walsh, Sebastian, Josh M.,Conrad F
Do you have a best friend?:: um....a few
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: of course
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: girls they're easier to get along with
Have you ever lost a friend?:: many times
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: no
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:: thongs
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:: Yes
Whats the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: Be there for them
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: I don't know
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: yes
What friend have you known the longest?:: idk
Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?:: Yeah
If so, what is it?:: being a shitty friend
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: in school, whenever people try to plan something
Do any of your friends drive?:: yes
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: No
Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?:: Idont know
What do you think your friends think of you?:: Anything,, everything

OTHER STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: Rock
What time is it now?:: 6:34pm
What day is it?:: Wednesday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: yesterday
How much money do you have right now?:: $25
Are you hungry?:: no
Whatcha doin?:: This survey
Do you like parades?:: Not really
Do you like the moon?:: sure
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: take a shower
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: No
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: Fly
Have you ever had a picnic?: yes
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: no but my friend did
What about sock em boppers?:: same as above
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: yes

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: no
pretty?:: freakish
sarcastic?:: very
lazy?:: Yes
hyper?:: every now and then
friendly?:: try to be
evil?:: at times
smart?:: no
strong?:: no
talented?:: I suck at life
dorky?:: a bit

FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: For
love:: For
drunk drivers:: Against
airplanes:: For
war:: Against
canada:: For
united states:: For(which means im anti bush)
rock music:: For
gay marriage:: For
school:: For
surveys:: For
parents:: For
cars:: For
killing:: Against
britney spears:: Against
coffee:: for
pants:: for

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: yes
Play strip poker?:: no one wants to see me naked
Run away?:: yes
Curse at a teacher?:: yes
Not take a shower for a week?:: no
Ask someone out?:: not at this moment
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: no
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: Sure
Go scuba diving?:: after I leanr how to swim
Write a book?: too lazy
Become a rockstar?:: If I had the talent
Have casual sex?:: No

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: Suave
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: kissing?
What kind of computer do you have?:: Hp
What grade are you in?:: 12th
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: No
Or just make out?:: depend
How many posters do you have in your room?:: 5
How many cds do you have?:: a lot
What time is it now?:: 6:39pm

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-02-01T17:10:00

2005-02-01T22:11:05Z

..........ignore my other post, Fri,sat,sun wasnt so good.

I am better

New schedule is ok......I am tired though.

<3

..........................I hope this goes on forever.

fUcK iT

2005-01-30T15:57:58Z

Fuck everything..............Fuck you parents, friends, and anyone else I forgot

this is complete bullshit life. nothing is a fairy tale, nothing will ever be a fucking fairy tale.dont grow up being so fucking ignorant in this world, open your eyes and get out of the fucking past. goddamn I should be telling myself this.

Fuck my mind for being so fucked over. fucking hate my reality that i live in, the standards that I set, and why I must always find something to complain and bitch about. fuck it all. Ifucking hate me right now, I hate what I am, what I look like, and why the fuck I am still alive. Fuck it. EVerything is worth it, and nothing will last it. I bitch nag, and moan about worthless shit that other peopld dont care about. I find retarded shit to be pissed at other people. I hate who I am. I need to get the fuck away, but I want to take yuo with me........
I always feel like I am competing with you, even if you dontknow who you are. Fuck you for everything. I've been comparing myself to you all this time and I dont even fucking know why. I hate you some times, no most of the fuckign time. You somehow set the standards for everything. You got almost everything you want, and fuck you for getting everything, and everyone I cuoldnt. fuck you asshole. I want you out of my fucking life.

fuck it all, fuck this, fuck my life, fuck you, especially you. Fuck off.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-30T10:28:00

2005-01-30T15:28:40Z

That was one shitty stupid night

little kids suck....*correction, little 12-13 year olds sucks

fucking wasted night.

<3 fuck this heart.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-28T21:49:00

2005-01-29T02:50:48Z

do it and Ill give you a little something something :)

1. What is my middle name?

2. Do I have a pet?

3. What music group(s) do I listen to the most?

4. Do I have a sibling? How many? Name(s)?

5. What is my favorite color?

6. What do I really prefer- Staying home with a friend or going out in a big group?

7. What is my obsession? (could be 2 things)

8. What/who will I always laugh at? (could be a few things)

9. Do I prefer scary movies or romance movies?

10. What is my favorite TV show?

11. What is my favorite city?

12. What health problem do I have? Or at least describe it.

13. What friend have I known for the longest amount of time?

14. What am I going to college for?

15. What instrument do I play?

16. What do I always bring with me when I go to a friend's house?

17 what is my favorite movie?

18. Where will I go first for coffee?

19. What is my favorite ice cream?

20. What have I been doing longer-- singing or playing an instrument?

21. whats my bigger fear dark or scary movies?

22. where did i move from..?(what school? 4 extra credit too!!!)

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-27T23:26:00

2005-01-28T04:27:24Z

What stupid celebrity are you destined to kill? by daydreamer8852
Name
Birthdate
You killed
With a
On	January 10, 2013

Quiz created with MemeGen!

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-27T13:06:00

2005-01-27T18:07:57Z

How Your Attitude Ranks

Your Attitude is Better than 55% of the Population

If you scored...

80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.

60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good.

0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat!

How's Your Attitude?

bored, and in <3

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-26T21:24:00

2005-01-27T03:19:26Z

*****Basics*****
1.What’s the time now? 924pm...
2. Full name? Chun Fan Lam...
3. Birthday? 3-11-87
4. Location? hometown:Latham, NY
current location: Latham , NY
5. School/mascot/colours? Shaker High/Bison/ Blue, white
6. Zodiac sign? Aries
7. Shoe size? 9 1/2
8. Height? 5'3
9. Weight? 120
10. wheres the question
11. Siblings? Sis
12. Eye colour? Brown
13. Hair colour? Black
14. Hair length? short
15. Ever dyed your hair? no....
16. What colour? //////////
17. Grade? Senior in hs
18. Are you good in school? Much better then before.
19. Hobbies? friends, tori, sports, reading, writing,
20. Nicknames? Chun, Chunnifer, The atom
21. What languages do you speak? english, chinese
22. Do you play sports? no
23. Where were you born? NYC somewhere.
24. Are you a night or a morning person? both
25. Are you ticklish? at times
26. Do you believe in god? no
27. Do you have any other screen names? no
28. What are they?
29. Do you have braces? no
30. Do you have glasses/ contacts? contacts

!!!!!!Getting personal!!!!!!
31. What do you want to be when you grow up? no idea
32. What was the worst day of your life? I had a few
33. What is your most embarrassing story? I have a lot.
34. What has been the best day of your life? not many
35. What comes first in your life? Tori, friends, family
36. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? gf
37. What are you most scared of? Being alone
38. If you had an extra set of eyes were would you put them? no I wouldnt have any
39. What do you usually think about before you go to bed? tori, my day
40. What do you regret the most? a lot. asking out people..
41. If you could be anything without consequences, what would you be? not me

$$$$$$Favourites$$$$$$
42. Movie? idk
43. Song? right now, a song by butcher walker
44. Band/group? shitload
45. Store? Target
46. Relative? Evan
47. Sport? Foootball
48. Vacation spot? anywhere from home.
49. Ice cream flavour? Vanilla
50. Fruit? Banana
51. Candy? idk
52. Car? 1996 Dodge Stratus
53. Class? Creative writing
54. Holiday? Christmas
55. Day of the week? Wednesday
56. Color? Green, Gray, Black
57. Magazine? times
58. Name for a girl? Elizabeth
59. Name for a boy? Eli
60. Sports team? Chicago Bulls
61? Month? March
62. Man athlete? Peyton Manning
63. Female athlete? none
64. Actress? Britney Spears lol
65. Actor? Ben Stiller
66. TV show? L & O
67. Web site? DA
68. Animal? Cats
69. E-mail buddy? --------
70. Joke? hidden meaing
71. Saying? " I Win"
72. Word? Penis or thong, I dk
73. Brand of shoes? Converse
74. Radio station? 103.1
75. Room in your house? my room
76. Concert you have been to? none
77. CD? idk
78. President? Bill Clinton
79. Salad? idk
80. Meat? Mooooo
81. Pizza topping? sausage
82. State? NY
83. City? idk I dislike cities.
84. Lake? never been to one
85. Ocean? idk
86. Place to be? With Tori
87. Smell? idk anything english
88. Taste? Tori.
89. Feeling? Loved
90. Sound? laughter
91. College? idk
92. Number? 9
93. Book? anything John Grisham.
94. Vacation spot? dont have one
95. Grandma? none
96. Grandpa? none
97. Cereal? dont have one.

^^^^^^In the past 72 hours have you^^^^^^
152. Had a serious talk? yes
153. Hugged someone? yes
154. Fought with a friend? yes
155. Cried? yea
156. Laughed? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
157. Made someone laugh? yes
158. Bought something? Yes
159. Cut your hair? no
160. Felt stupid? Yes
161. Talked to someone you love? yes
162. Missed someone? Yes

??????Have you ever??????
163. Done drugs? Yes
164. Eaten an entire box of Oreos? Yes
165. Been jumped? yes
166. Had someone be unfaithful to you? no
167. Watched punky brewster? no
168. Hiked a mountain? yes
169. Stayed home on Saturday night, just because? Yes
170. Been in love? yes
171. Seen the white house? no
172. Seen the Eiffel tower? no
173. Tried smoking? yes
174. Drank alcohol? yes
175. Smoked marijuana? yes
176. Played monopoly? yes
178. Seen titanic? yes this movie makes me cry
179. Kissed someone? yes
180. Had an eating disorder? maybe
181. Lost your virginity? no
182. Tried a weight loss program? no
183. Jumped on a trampoline? yes
184. Visited another country? Yes
185. Colour in a colourings book (and had fun)? Yes
186. Had a bubble bath? yes
187. Been on a plane? yes
188. Been on a boat? yes
189. Been on a train? yes
190. Been in a car accident? nope
191. Ridden an elephant? nope
192. Made a Web page? no
193. Played with Barbie's? Yes
194. Stayed up all night? yes
195. Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean? yes
196. Broken a bone? no
197. Called a psychic or sex hotline? Yes
198. Watched Jerry Springer? yes
199. Gotten in trouble for talking in class? Yes
200. Been afraid of the dark? yes
201. Been in the hospital (not visiting)? yes
202. Had stitches? no
203. Dumped someone and regretted it? No
204. Went out with more than one person at a time? no
205. Lied? Yes
206. Been arrested? no
207. Fallen asleep in class? yes
208. Used food for something other than to eat? Yes
209. Met a celebrity? yes
210. Broken the law? Yes
211. Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? yes
212. Hated yourself? yes
213. Been broken-hearted? Yes
214. Broken someone's heart? no
216. Fell off a chair? yes
217. Lap danced? yes
218. Been in a fistfight? no
219. Been in a catfight? no

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-26T21:22:00

2005-01-27T02:23:29Z

Sigh............

I think I might be attention seeker.........or need help.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-26T07:17:00

2005-01-26T12:32:39Z

I fucked up completely..........

its all better........I hope.

<3

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-25T18:12:00

2005-01-25T23:12:48Z

and I feel like shit.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-24T17:47:00

2005-01-25T02:50:01Z

BASICS.
[ .001. ] first name Chun Fan
[ .002. ] middle name: None (who wants to give me one)
[ .003. ] last name: Lam
[ .004. ] nickname(s): Chunnifer, The Atom, litte azn man
[ .005. ] gender: male
[ .006. ] age: 17
[ .007. ] birthday: 03-21-87
[ .008. ] height: 5’3
[ .009. ] hair color: black
[ .010. ] eye color: dark brown
[ .011. ] race: Asian
[ .012. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: contacts
[ .013. ] do you have braces: no
[ .014. ] is your hair long or short: short
[ .015. ] where were you born: NYC
[ .016. ] current location: Latham
[ .017. ] zodiac sign: Aries
[ .018. ] how many languages do you know: 2
[ .019. ] nationality: Chinese, Indonesian
[ .020. ] bad habits: paranoia, depression, my once a mth anger
[ .021. ] piercings you have: zero
[ .022. ] piercings you want: um......none
[ .023. ] tattoos you have: none
[ .024. ] tattoos you want: hm none
[ .025. ] today's date: Jan -something-2005
[ .026. ] the time:851pm
[ .027. ] ready for a bunch more questions: w/e

FAMILY.
[ .028. ] mother's name: Mei Fai
[ .029. ] father's name: Cheong
[ .030. ] step-parent's names, if any: none
[ .031. ] brother(s)'s name(s): none
[ .032. ] sister(s)'s name(s): Chun Mei
[ .033. ] favorite aunt: who ever leaves me alone the most
[ .034. ] favorite uncle: Evan
[ .035. ] favorite grandparent: from my dads side
[ .036. ] worst relative: idk
[ .037. ] best relative: noone
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: If I dont work with them, yetah
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: NOPE black sheep
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: no
[ .041. ] what are their names: none
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: I eat your pets

SCHOOL.
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yep
[ .044. ] did you drop out: ...no
[ .045. ] current gpa, or last gpa you got: uhhhhhh 84.....3.2 I think
[ .046. ] favorite grade?: this
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: 6th
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Shit.....Marx
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: Rosenthal
[ .050. ] favorite subject: History
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: math
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: Buy
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: to freakin short
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities: HFH, thats it for now
[ .055. ] are/were you popular: haha.
[ .056. ] favorite dance: :) upcoming
[ .057. ] favorite memory: :) a few
[ .058. ] least favorite dance: freshman home coming
[ .059. ] least favorite memory: almost commited suicide once, um.....cutting.....um....writing up "suicide notes"yeah a fwe there.
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment/memory: too many
FAVORITE.
[ .061. ] number: 9
[ .062. ] clothing brand: H& M, um.....other stuff?
[ .063. ] shoes: Converse
[ .064. ] saying: Thong
[ .065. ] tv show: Will & Grace, L & O, hey I dont have cable
[ .066. ] sport: football, basketball
[ .067. ] vegetable: broccili
[ .068. ] fruit: banananannanana
[ .069. ] movie: Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, LOTF trilogy, bad boys 2, Shaun of the dead
[ .070. ] magazine: XB
[ .071. ] actor: Johnny depp, Jim carrey
[ .072. ] actress: idk
[ .073. ] candy: Crunch, kiss, hersey bars
[ .074. ] gum: Orbit
[ .075. ] scent: antyhing
[ .076. ] candy bar: milky way
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: Vanilla
[ .078. ] color: green
[ .079. ] season: winter
[ .080. ] holiday: christmas
[ .081. ] band: butch walker, Unwritten Law, Bowling For Soup, Green day, bunch of others
[ .082. ] singer: idk
[ .083. ] group: idk
[ .084. ] rapper: Snoop Dogg
[ .085. ] type of music: keep country away from me
[ .086. ] thing in your room: guitar
[ .087. ] place to be: anywhere with Tori
[ .088. ] radio station: 103.1
[ .090. ] junk food: nuggets, pizza
[ .091. ] overall food: burrito
[ .092. ] store: idk. H& M JCpenny? idk
[ .093. ] shoe brand: Chuck Taylors, New Balance
[ .094. ] fast food: Wendy
[ .095. ] restaurant: hmm Diner
[ .096. ] shape: Heart
[ .097. ] time of day: sunset? dusk
[ .098. ] country: Idk
[ .099. ] state: New York
[ .100. ] boys name: Alex
[ .101. ] girls name: Stacey
[ .102. ] mall: mall of America if I can ever get there
[ .103. ] video game: FF7
[ .104. ] shampoo: um...
[ .105. ] board game: Monoply
[ .106. ] computer game: Lineage 2 if I canf ucking play it
[ .107. ] car: New Mustangs that are fucking coming out
[ .108. ] music video: dont have one
[ .109. ] swear word: ....
[ .110. ] word: thong
[ .111. ] month: March
[ .112. ] cartoon character: Bus
[ .113. ] scary movie: the Grudge
[ .114. ] team: Chicago bulls
[ .115. ] possession: my guitar

WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR.
[ .116. ] eminem: mmmm M& M
[ .117. ] dog: woof
[ .118. ] hot: sunny
[ .119. ] britney spears: Trail Trash SLUT
[ .120. ] nsync: sucks
[ .121. ] real world: is not so real
[ .122. ] orange: juice
[ .123. ] choice: sure
[ .124. ] fuck: you
[ .125. ] bisexual: people
[ .126. ] black: sheep
[ .127. ] icq: wtf
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: I hate clowns
[ .129. ] linkin park: nice
[ .130. ] jack: of all trades
[ .131. ] rainbow: gay pride
[ .132. ] cherry: cheese cake
[ .133. ] cucumber: ew
[ .134. ] shark: Jaws
[ .135. ] lifehouse:awesome band
[ .136. ] bat: MAN
[ .137. ] leather: Moo
[ .138. ] whipped: Me lol
[ .139. ] american: idiot
[ .140. ] water: everywhere
[ .141. ] volcano: hot

THIS OR THAT.
[ .142. ] rock or rap: rock
[ .143. ] rock or pop: rock.
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: rock.
[ .145. ] rock or metal: rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: pop
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: r&b
[ .148. ] rap or metal: metal
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: pop.
[ .150. ] pop or metal: metal
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: metal.
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: linkin park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: korn
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: Selena
[ .155. ] hot or cold: cold
[ .156. ] winter or summer: winter.
[ .157. ] spring or fall: spring
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: shakira
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: eminem
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: Rob Zombie
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: Garbage
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: vh1
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: angel
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: Gilmore
[ .165. ] football or basketball: football
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: summer
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: skiing
[ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: roller
[ .169. ] black or white: black.
[ .170. ] orange or red: red.
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green.
[ .172. ] purple or pink: purple.
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: mudvayne
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: Hot Topic
[ .175. ] inside or outside: outside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: sigh. alcohol
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cellphone.
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: pen
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: powerpuff girls.
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: scooby
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: pokemon
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: star wars
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: tattoos
[ .184. ] prep or punk: punk
[ .185. ] slut or whore: whore

PRIVATE.
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: yes
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: my gf
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: yes
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: I think I am
[ .190. ] How many people have you kissed?: 2
[ .191. ] who was your first kiss: aimee.
[ .192. ] how many hearts have you broken: i dunno
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: a lot
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: Amazing to be in, worse to see someone else in
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: a really amazing person
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: lol. kinda
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: donthave it on
[ .198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: yeah
[ .199. ] please post it if you do: whyyyyyyy
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: personality. I get to know the person then i usually see the person for who they are
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: no
[ .202. ] Are you still friends? ...
[ .203. ] so moving along.. do you smoke: no
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: no
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: no
[ .206. ] how about a little x: no
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: no
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: bad
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: no
[ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice: dont know never tried
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: um....neither
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: none

WOULD YOU EVER.
[ .213. ] bungee jump: no
[ .214. ] sky dive: no
[ .215. ] swim with dolphins: I wish I would drown
[ .216. ] scuba dive: no
[ .217. ] go rock climbing: no
[ .218. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: no.
[ .219. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: no, but Ihave a feelign I done it before
[ .220. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: fuck no.
[ .221. ] cross-dress: :) maybe
[ .222. ] lie to the police: no
[ .223. ] run from the police: no
[ .224. ] lie to your parents: yes
[ .225. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: no
[ .226. ] be an exotic dancer: SURE! thong...
[ .227. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: no
[ .228. ] streak: no I dont want people to die

YOUR FRIENDS.
[ .229. ] friends: hopefully
[ .230. ] known longest: sigh. Curtis
[ .231. ] wish you talked to more: all of them
[ .232. ] wish you saw more: all of them
[ .233. ] how many friends do you think you have: people who I consider friends 10-15.
[ .234. ] who drives you insane after a while: me
[ .235. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: tori and Shi
[ .236. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': yeah. I am a stupid shit
[ .237. ] craziest: Shi
[ .238. ] loudest: Maddy
[ .239. ] shyest: Tori
[ .240. ] best hair: hmm. Souyi
[ .241. ] can always make you laugh:....shi, conrad,tori, maddy
[ .242. ] best eyes: Tori
[ .243. ] best body: Tori
[ .244. ] most athletic: Shi LOLOl......maddy
[ .245. ] sex symbol: heh. tori
[ .246. ] hot tempered: Nikki
[ .247. ] most impatient: Nikki
[ .248. ] shortest: ME!!!!!!!!
[ .249. ] tallest: Maddy
[ .250. ] talented: everyone but me
[ .251. ] best singer: me ask me to sing one day and I might
[ .252. ] skinniest: idk
[ .253. ] nicest: everyone
[ .254. ] best personality: idk
[ .255. ] biggest drug user: sigh

HAVE YOU EVER.
[ .256. ] flashed someone: yes
[ .257. ] told the person you liked how you felt: Yes
[ .258. ] been to michigan: no
[ .259. ] gotten really REALLY wasted: no
[ .260. ] gone to jail or juvi: no
[ .261. ] skateboarded: no
[ .262. ] skinny dipped: no
[ .263. ] stolen anything: when I was little
[ .264. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: nope
[ .265. ] kicked someone's ass: yeah
[ .266. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: hehe yeah
[ .267. ] broke a beer bottle: no
[ .268. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: no
[ .269. ] kissed someone of the same sex: no
[ .270. ] gone on a road trip: NYC, MASS, CT
[ .271. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: no
[ .272. ] been to a concert: yup
[ .273. ] been to another country: China
[ .274. ] talked back to an adult: my parents
[ .275. ] got pulled over: no
[ .276. ] ever gotten into an car accident?: no almost
[ .277. ] broke a law: yah
[ .278. ] given money to a homeless person: yes
[ .279. ] tried to kill yourself: Yes
[ .280. ] cried to get out of trouble: no
[ .281. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: no
[ .282. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: yeah
[ .283. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it: yup I think

OPINIONS.
[ .284. ] what do you think... about pop music: changing
[ .285. ] about boy bands: everywhere
[ .286. ] about flag burning: dont care
[ .287. ] of the war on terrorists: bullshit
[ .288. ] about suicide: your choice
[ .289. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: heh
[ .290. ] about abortion: your body your choice
[ .291. ] about rock/metal music: metal will rule again...dammit
[ .292. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Helping someone, with tori hopefully
[ .293. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: idk

WHAT DID YOU DO.
[ .294. ] last birthday: Never had a birthday party
[ .295. ] last weekend: who knows
[ .296. ] last thanksgiving: retartded
[ .297. ] last new year's eve: nothing
[ .298. ] halloween: worked
[ .299. ] easter: nothing
[ .300. ] valentine's day: :)

THE LAST.
[ .301. ] thing you ate: nasty spagetti
[ .302. ] thing you drank: pepsi
[ .303. ] thing you wore: kakis and black t
[ .304. ] place you went: my room
[ .305. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: none
[ .306. ] person you saw: shi
[ .307. ] person you kissed: Tori
[ .308. ] person you talked to: Tori
[ .309. ] song you heard: dont know the name, by butch walker

NOW.
[ .310. ] what are you eating: ntohing
[ .311. ] what are you drinking: pepsi
[ .312. ] what are you wearing: kakis
[ .313. ] any shoes on: none
[ .314. ] hair: ...same
[ .317. ] talking to anyone: noone
[ .318. ] are you pissed i made this so long: my head is hurting

YES OR NO.
[ .319. ] are you a vegetarian: no
[ .321. ] do you like cows: yes
[ .322. ] are you a bitch: sometimes
[ .323. ] are you artistic: at times with words
[ .324. ] do you write poetry: Yes
[ .325. ] are you a fast runner: Sprinter
[ .326. ] can you ski: no
[ .327. ] are you british: I wish
[ .328. ] do you want to spear britney: sure
[ .329. ] do the voices talk to you: no
[ .330. ] did you ever give barbie a haircut: yeah in acide....
[ .331. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it?: sure
[ .332. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made alice in wonder land: yes
[ .333. ] are you straight: Yes ( think)
[ .334. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: yes
[ .335. ] are you fat: No
[ .336. ] are you skinny: Yes
[ .337. ] are you short: YES!!!!!
[ .338. ] are you tall: no
[ .339. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: no
[ .340. ] how about orange pants: no
[ .341. ] can you see the flying monkeys: Wizard o Oz
[ .342. ] are you evil: no
[ .343. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: Yes
[ .344. ] is Britney a whore: no a slut
[ .345. ] are you a teenage zombie: no
[ .346. ] am i annoying you: no
[ .347. ] do you like Marilyn Manson: no
[ .348. ] are you secretly from another planet: Uranus
[ .349. ] Do you shop at preppy stores: Yes

RANDOM QUESTIONS.
[ .350. ] if you could be any animal, what would you be: Bald Eagle
[ .351. ] if you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be: nuggets
[ .352. ] do you remember any of your dreams: a lot of my friends and flasheing of Tori's face though it all
[ .354. ] do you admit when you need help with a problem: yes
[ .355. ] can people read you like a book: No
[ .356. ] what's your biggest fear: Being alone
[ .357. ] do you talk a lot: to certain people
[ .358. ] are you afraid of clowns: afraid......yeah
[ .359. ] do you like spiders: yes
[ .360. ] how about grape kool-aid: no
[ .361. ] can you drive: yup
[ .362. ] are you spoiled: yes.....annoying
[ .363. ] are you anti-social: can be
[ .364. ] do you see dumb people: yup I am one
[ .365. ] do you see dead people: I have a friend who works at the morgue
[ .366. ] any last words: I am a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout
[ .367. ] now that this is over, what are you going to do: call Tori

<3

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-22T21:28:00

2005-01-23T02:37:44Z

ok hangout day at my house........halo 2, ddr, part of a movie, wish hangout was longer.......damn this blizzard...think Ill go out into it to play in it in a while.

L   Is for the way you show your beautiful smile
O   Is the the bliss moments we have
V   Is saying all the words I   truly mean
E   Is why you are so special to me

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-21T20:29:00

2005-01-22T01:29:51Z

...............................Ranted to a lot of people....

I think you acutally stole my Heart............................

Ergh

2005-01-20T02:05:58Z

I can be pretty moody sometimes...............Today was a good talk to Chun day......

hmm................3 essays to do by Friday, I am so screwed

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-18T16:39:00

2005-01-18T21:43:21Z

I wish you were better at showing love.

I <3 You anyway. sorry if I was acting weirder then normal.

3 essays to due, 7 hours before I will sleep, I am screwed like a little boy left in Neverland Ranch.

Good saturday

2005-01-16T16:37:39Z

Sorry about the that, Stewart......I tend to fuck up your day a lot and not mean to. I am sorry.

other then that screw up of mine, that was a fun party, maddy got some pizza on her...lol

Halo 2 goodness

Those are the moments I live for

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-14T16:23:00

2005-01-14T21:29:21Z

I feel so down in the gutters right now

I fucked up badly, I screwed up my oralspeaking for economics, I thought it was today, but it was yesterday, there goes 15 points on my final

I have to write 10 pages of memories from k-12 by tuesday, I haves 4 pages done

I have a overdue journalism project( 3 weeks late) that I need to finish, or I fail the class

Yup, I feel like shit cause I am the lazy dumbass who tries to do everything but cant.

I am being a dick to myself right now......Mental issues again

I dont feel loved.

I always screw up in the end.........I need to talk to anyone, tori, shi, anyone but I got work in 3 minutes and my parents are going to drive me insane........I hate myself.

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-13T22:01:00

2005-01-14T03:03:19Z

I am not gay........my gf wont believe me :(

frm_the_ashes @ 2005-01-10T21:14:00

2005-01-11T02:17:53Z

Life is life, you win some you lose some.

Got a gf who I really like. I love the close intimate moments we share, I love spending it with you
(feel better)

First college letter I get, and I am accepted ( 1-0, 4 more to go)

My life isnt hard, I cant complain about much

I am graduating in a few weeks. Its Offical, I graduate after I finish My Midterms

Then Why Do I still feel unhappy? I love everything thats happening to me, I am starting to enjoy my life. Then why do I still feel so down?.......

<3

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